


How Do I Say Goodbye?

by jay_of_the_beholder



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crying, Fluff, Guys they're literally soulmates can we talk about this?, Hugs, I don’t know maybe Wilde saved him last time., Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mutual Pining, Soulmates, Spoilers for recent episodes, That's why Zolf's hair is white too because he's died and come back., Unresolved Romantic Tension, Wilde gets white hair after he dies., Zolf Smith gets to cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:34:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27620756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jay_of_the_beholder/pseuds/jay_of_the_beholder
Summary: Set after The Ritual (Part One). You all know what kind of fic this is.
Relationships: Zolf Smith & Oscar Wilde, Zolf Smith/Oscar Wilde
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	How Do I Say Goodbye?

**Author's Note:**

> It's so short and sweet. If God hadn't nerfed me with a lack of motivation I'd be on this with quality content faster than you can say Zoscar. However I have this, and it's passable. Enjoy.

Zolf walks.

He walks aimlessly to an outside perspective, wandering the barren streets with his eyes closed and his hands relaxed as his side.

To Zolf, a string is tugging. A small thread wrapped around his heart, unable to be seen by the naked eye tugs and twists around the bends and curves of the empty streets and a thrum in the back of his mind tells him he’s going the right way.

He’s going the right way.

Zolf knows faith. He knows that there’s an afterlife for everyone and he knows that his was meant to be something it simply cannot be anymore. But he had faith. He’s familiar with faith and he knows what it entails.

Wilde’s steps are wandering. Lost. Unsure of where to go and simply exploring in a fashion characteristic of the curious man. Always wanting to learn. Assessing his new situation.

It takes a while, far longer than he’d expected, to come to a halt.

The air is still here, and the string around his heart goes slack. Zolf takes a deep breath and opens his eyes.

It’s quite the view. The edge of the city drops off into a layer of clouds, rolling calmly by. It’s a perfect spot; he’s not surprised Wilde managed to find it.

The man himself looks relaxed from behind. He’s wearing his furs and is standing still; looking out over the clouds. His shoulders don’t hold their usual tension, and one hand is behind his back. The other appears to be over his heart.

Zolf takes another breath, and walks over to stand beside his oldest friend.

“A’right Wilde.”

The man starts, blinking at him.

“Zolf.”

Zolf manages a wry smile. “Didn’t expect to see me, did you.”

Wilde gives him an odd glance. “Not… particularly this soon. I thought you might be too tough for an airship crash.”

He huffs. “Course I am. You think I’m here because I’m dead?”

“Y...yes?”

Zolf shrugs. “It takes a lot more than an airship crash to kill me.”

Wilde remains silent, turning his gaze back to the clouds. Zolf does the same, and they stand as they had on the beach some evenings in Japan; in comfortable silence.

But Zolf has a job to do.

“Wilde--”

“Why are you here, Zolf?”

He manages an irritated laugh. “That’s what I was just about to get to.”

“Then get to it.” Wilde has put on his business face now, and Zolf nearly groans in exasperation. This might be hard.

“I’m here to bring you back.”

That takes him off guard. Wilde’s gazze flicks back to him. “What?”

“I’m takin’ you back, Wilde.”

The man blinks, then shakes his head slowly. “That’s not… I mean it’s  _ possible _ but--”

“Look.” He crosses his arms. If Wilde wants to play ‘business meeting,’ he’ll take it in stride. “We met some people. They said they could bring you back. And… well I think they’re keepin’ their promise. I’m here now, and I’m bringin’ you back.”

Wilde watches him, a carefully neutral expression on his face. Zolf wants to shake him by the shoulders and make it fall away so that he can see what the man’s truly thinking.

“Why go to the trouble?” he says instead. “You have a mission to do. We talked about this.”

“We  _ talked _ about if you get infected, I kill you. You never said anythin’ about lettin’ you stay dead.”

Wilde laughs a bit. “I didn’t think this would come up again.”

“Well, then we shoulda had this conversation the first time.”

He sees a bit of his Wilde come through then, as the man gives him a genuine look. “You’re right.”

Zolf huffs. “Yeah, well. We’re here now. Let’s talk. You comin’ back?”

“Why should I?”

“Why should you?” he asks, annoyed. “Because we need you, you arse.”

Wilde gives a bit of a smile. “You never know you need a person until they’re gone. Why is that?”

“You act like I haven’ been tellin’ you this  _ every _ time you haven’t gone to bed. Every time I’ve had to save your ass from a bad situation. You’re makin’ it sound like I’ve never said this before.” Zolf feels a sharp anger and sadness suddenly surface, and he clenches his fists to keep himself from going too far.

Deep breaths.

“I’m… you’re right, Zolf. It was unfair of me to imply otherwise.” Wilde sighs, looking down at the hand that has now fallen from where it rested over his heart. “There’s always… been something. I can’t place it. But this feeling that’s just left… that’s you, isn’t it?”

Zolf blinks at the change of subject, but he feels a small tug at the string again. “The heart thing.”

Wilde looks at him, exasperated. “Yes, Zolf. The heart thing. This happened last time.”

Zolf winces. “Will you… stop bringing up last time. You know that’s not the only reason I’m here. I’m not just saving your ass because you saved mine. I mean that’s  _ part _ of it but--” he sighs, mussing his hair. “We care about you I…  _ I care _ about you. I can’t…” he lets out a shuddering breath, and suddenly all of the emotions he’d been bottling since the crash, since Hamid and Azu had arrived, since they’d  _ disappeared… _ since he’d left in Prague. Zolf finally feels warm tears roll down his face for the first time in a while, and he clasps a hand over his mouth.

“Zolf…” Wilde is in front of him immediately, wrapping him in a tight hug. “Zolf please don’t…”

“I can’t lose you too,” he chokes out. “I can’t.”

Wilde holds him ever tighter. “I’m sorry,” he whispers into Zolf’s hair. “I’m sorry.” Like a mantra, over and over until it feels true. Until Zolf realizes that Wilde is crying too, and the string around his heart pulls and twists and the thrum in the back of his mind hums and sings with…

Hope.

He has hope because of Wilde. He has safety. He has someone to trust.

“I’ll come with you,” Wilde says softly. “If it’s what you wish, I’ll comply.”

Zolf nods once and they part, but Wilde still has a hand on his shoulder. He sighs and lifts his own hand up to meet it.

“Lead the way, Mr. Smith,” the man says softly, more meaning behind the words.

_ I trust you. You don’t have to look back. You don’t have to doubt. I’m following you. _

\--

Zolf opens his eyes to see the others still kneeling, and lets out a soft gasp. He hears someone else do the same, and looks down to see a wide-eyed Wilde staring up at him, atop his head a shock of white hair.

“Zolf,” he breathes, at the same time that Zolf moves so that he’s next to the man, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and holding his head.

“Don’t do that again. Don’t you dare do that again.”

Wilde grabs onto him and breathes, gods he  _ breathes, _ and Zolf lets out a relieved laugh. He sees Sohra smiling over Wilde’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” he says sincerely. “Thank you for letting me bring him back.”

Sohra merely nods, and places a finger to her lips. Zolf nods once, understanding that the others haven’t returned yet. Wilde is compliant, allowing himself to be lifted on the stretcher and carried outside. Zolf follows. They sit on the ground outside the room, facing each other.

“Are we going to talk about this?”

Zolf sighs. “We’ve managed to avoid it so far.”

Wilde manages a bit of a smile. “I suppose so.” He watches Zolf for a long moment, then takes a deep breath. “We’re connected.”

“In some way.”

Wilde takes a moment, and Zolf can tell he’s going to ask something stupid. “Do you believe in sou--”

Zolf groans, cutting him off. “Wilde, stop being a damn romantic. We have feelings for each other. There, I said it.” He pauses, then sighs. “You’re the only one who’s stayed this long. I’m not messin’ this up. And with the end of the world--”

Wilde nods. “I get it. Believe me I do.” He watches Zolf for a long moment, before reaching out a hand. Zolf takes it without hesitation, and allows himself a second to feel the warmth in it, pressing his thumb against Wilde’s wrist and feeling a pulse. Wilde smiles a bit at that.

“I can’t promise I’ll always be here. No one can promise that. But… it seems like you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

Zolf rolls his eyes. “Gods save me now,” he teases, giving Wilde a smirk. His face morphs into a genuine one though, and he clasps Wilde’s hand in both of his own. “Seriously though. Jus’ try to stay safe?”

Wilde nods. “I will do my best, Zolf.” Their eyes meet, and Wilde smiles a bit. “Thank you for bringing me back. I… don’t know how much I’d like to be here at the moment but… I’m glad you came for me.”

Zolf shrugs. “It’s my job. Savin’ yer ass is part of the deal.”

The man laughs a bit, looking down. “I’d be lost without you.”

“Wilde?!” Hamid’s voice rings out from a distance, and Wilde sighs.

“Time to deal with the aftermath, I suppose.”

Zolf smiles a bit. “I’m here if you need me.”

Wilde looks back at him, and for once, the facade seems to fade away. “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Can we talk about Ben Meredith being an absolute icon and also Alex saying that Zolf and Wilde had a connection while everyone else had to call out because I think we should talk about this.


End file.
